nday’s Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber was proof you shouldn’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
The panel of comedians, rappers and Martha Stewart got just as eviscerated as the guest of honor, providing some of the largest laughs of the night.
But surprisingly, Bieber was the one doling out some of the funniest quips and harshest truths (guess his money can afford a solid team of comedy writers).
And since Justin got the last laugh, we can all keep calm and beliebe on.
“Martha’s so old her first period was the Renaissance.” – Pete Davidson
“Kevin’s gonna be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s playing Peter Dinklage’s shadow.” – Natasha Leggero
“Snoop, you look like a retired WNBA player.” – Jeff Ross
“Shaq’s dick is so big, he has to use Dropbox to send a dick pic.” – Natasha Leggero
“All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.” – Natasha Leggero
“What’s happening Jeff? You look like someone put Seth Rogen in the microwave.” – Pete Davidson
“Kevin is the only celebrity with a star on the yellow brick road.” – Shaq
“You might know Ludacris from your mom’s ‘Now That’s What I Call Music’ CD.” – Pete Davidson
“Hannibal, you look like that gingerbread man I left in the oven too long.” – Martha Stewart
“Jeff, you look like the emoji you send when you want to tell someone you have food poisoning.” – Justin Bieber
“I love Kevin Hart’s career plan: Do everything Martin Lawrence did, only shittier.” – Justin Bieber
“What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.” – Justin Bieber
“You have my word I won’t end up broken, pathetic, bitter or sitting on the dais of somebody else’s roast.” – Justin Bieber